I have a feeling I just opened a can of worms with this one. Here it goes...
Last year, when I had some semblance of time, I delved into the world of online dating for the first time in my life. (The steady climb of new messages in my email box begins). Back to the story. I figured, I have many friends and friends of friends who have met their spouse online and I figured what do I have to lose? Well during this process I learned a lot of lessons that can also be applied in social media. As a matter of fact, these tips may very well make you social media pro.
Here are 11 of them. Let the games begin...
1. Brand the REAL version of you
Authenticity is very important when you build any relationship. And there's nothing that stinks more then when people are trying to be something they're not. Be the real you! People I like and follow have one thing in common they're the real them at all times. As a matter of fact it's their challenges that's make their audience love them even more.
2. Don't be a cliché
Cliché in the online dating world involves shirtless bathroom pics in the mirror. Please stop doing that people. Seriously, how are you being a cliché in your niche. Are you using the same catch phrases that all your competitors use? We all do it sometimes but the more innovative you can be in your field the more you will build a following. Not to mention why should I go to your site and read your content when I can get the same thing elsewhere?
3. Nobody likes a troll
It's a fact that you won't click with everyone in the dating world, but there's no need to be a troll about it. One person sent me a extremely long message detailing their hatred for Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love since that book was listed in my favorite books section. I tried to be nice about it but then after the third message I realized this person had an issue that had nothing to do with me. Same thing with social media, you may see something you don't agree, no need to put yourself on the troll-dar (troll radar) for it. Learn to walk away and let others have their own opinions. There's no need to get into an online fight about it.
4. Have a plan
An online dating plan anyone? Yes, it matters. Same thing with social media. Nothing is haphazard. Tweeting is not a plan, it's a verb. If you don't have a plan with social media you will find yourself completely doing a variety of things that yield little to no results.
5. Spreading yourself too thin won't get you far
A dating doubleheader or triple header (dating back-to-back) can be overwhelming in one weekend but talk about one day. Scheduling multiple dates in one day makes it hard to be in the moment and get to know the person in front of you. The same way if you're on every social media site on planet Earth it can easily spell disaster unless, that is you have an awesome social media team. But seriously, regardless of if you have a team or not it's best to take your time and get to know Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube and then you can slowly and surely add more to your social roster.
6. Are you a womp womp?
Yes, this is an actual dating term. A womp womp is someone who kills the mood every time. They don't have personality or interests. No one wants to date a womp womp, let alone follow or fan one on Twitter or Facebook. A sure way to not be a womp womp? Get a life, get a hobby, and get some friends. Life happens offline, so it's important to keep having experiences that takes you away from behind your computer. If not when you actually meet people the only conversation that will be going on is the white noise in the room.
7. Make blink decisions and don't look back
I can attest to not following my blink decisions and boy do I wish I did. Bottom line you must trust yourself in your personal life and in business. There are so many opportunities available to connect, buy products, form alliances with folks over social media. Don't forget to check in with yourself to see if it's in alignment with who you truly are and what your values are. If it's not keep on moving, there are always opportunities elsewhere. There is never a good reason to settle.
8. Don't be a cyberstalker
I have a friend who had an online dating cyberstalker. Even though she had politely told him she wasn't interested, this person proceeded to find her on every single dating site she was registered with. Creepy! In social media we get that too. We all know you're a fan of "so and so" and if "so and so" mentioned you in a tweet it would totally make your day and flood your business with new clients. But guess what? "So and so" is a person and constantly sending messages on all the social media sites from the same person even though they're not answering is cyberstalking. Influencers are busy and they are not obligated to answer you or me. So be courteous in your approach. As a matter of fact, come at it from the perspective of what you can do for them opposed to what they can do for you.
9. Beware of TMI
Telling a person on your first date that your ex was institutionalized and subsequently led to you voluntarily becoming homeless is really TMI. Yes, that's a true story. Face it, on the first date you are still strangers. It's about having a no pressure good time. Same thing goes for social media but times it by a million. I understand how social media makes it so easy to share things. It seems like this intimate experience but actually it's being broadcasted all over the internet. Just remember that it will be documented forever. Yes, show who you are are but know when to put the brakes on.
10. Seeking outside help makes you smart
There are dating coaches, relationship experts, find your soulmate classes. Just like it's okay to seek help when navigating the dating world it's not only okay to seek help with social media, it's smart. Find a consultant or coach and learn the ins and out, or hire someone to do it for you. The investment that you'll make in a program and consulting service (the good ones at least) outweighs the cost. If you apply what you learn, you will reap the benefits of your investment 100 fold.
11. A virtual relationship is just the beginning
Some people say that a virtual relationship is not a real relationship. I can understand that because a virtual relationship is only the beginning. The only way to deepen any relationship is to meet in person. If you are serious about online relationship building then you will know a large component of it takes place off line. Find ways where you can connect with the people you follow in real life. Whether it's a Skype call, meeting for coffee, attending an event it will help solidify your relationship.
So there you have it. Have something to add? Share it in the comments section. I'd love to know what you think. And of course please share this on the social networks you hang out on.
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